Dear Caregiver . . .
A military response to terrorism frightens many
children. Children know that something bad is
happening. But there is a great deal you can do
to help children.
First: Talk Honestly
Most children know a great deal about what is
happening. But what they think they don't know
may be more frightening to them than the truth.
At a time like this, children desperately need someone
they can trust and talk to. Help them sort fact
from rumor.
Here are a few suggestions that might be helpful
to you in talking to your child:
- Listen to what your child is asking. Sometimes,
adults answer questions the child never asked.
These answers may reflect the fears and concerns
of the adult, not those of the child. Meanwhile,
the child's questions could go unanswered.
- Answer questions in words the child can understand.
Sometimes, adults talk too much. They tell
a child more than he or she wants to know.
At other times, a parent may give short answers
when a longer one is needed. When that occurs,
a child might feel that something dreadful is being
hidden.
- Be concrete. What a child really wants to
know is this: "Will I be hurt?
Will my friends or family be hurt?"
- Be reassuring. Be as reassuring and hopeful
as possible when talking to a child. Also,
be honest! Don't make promises or guarantees
that can't be kept.
If a child is worried about a parent, friend or
relative in the military, let the child know that
it is all right to be concerned. Assure the
child that people in the military are highly trained
and that there are many people helping them.
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Second: Turn Off the TV
Some news is important, but repetition of the
same story is confusing for younger children.
Also, they need the emotional break from violent stories.
Frequent viewing may increase their fear of what might
happen. If they do watch the news, watch it
with them so you can check for their understanding
and response.
Third: Stick to Routines
A routine assures a child that a crisis does not
affect everything. Much of his or her life will
go on as it always has.
Make sure that the child continues in the routine
of going to school and taking part in athletics and
after-school activities. School is a safe place
for kids to be. In a time of stress, routine
can be very helpful for a child. Have a calm,
quiet bedtime ritual. Keep that time positive
and peaceful.
Fourth: Check Our Website
If you want more information for yourself or for
talking to your children, go to the Helpful Links
page.
Finally: Take Care of Yourself
Keep up your own health and spirits. Children
imitate the behavior of adults, particularly adults
they love and respect. So, take care of yourself
and you will be taking care of your child also. |
