- Spokane Public Schools
- Counseling Services
Talking with Children about Violence
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- Prepare yourself for emotionality. This means emotionality within yourself and with others with whom you speak regarding this topic/incident.
- Provide accurate information at a developmentally appropriate level.
- Take care in describing the perpetrator. This means care in not glamorizing the person, stereotyping, or making assumptions.
- Emphasize helpers and safe adults (ex. first responders, school staff, and therapists).
- Assure the child that it is ok to talk about sad or scary events.
- Schools are safe places.
- Reassure children that they are safe.
- Make sure students have and know that there are adults to talk to about concerns/needs.
- Make sure there is plenty of time to talk. Often children need to tell and retell stories and perceptions.
- Teach and review safety practices.
- Limit time spent on news and social media sites discussing the incident and conversations resulting from the incident.
- Keep normal routines and structure.
- Help students understand that there is a difference between reporting versus tattling or gossiping.
- Eat healthy food. Often individuals will stop eating or eat high sugar and carbohydrate diets in times of stress/trauma.
- Encourage positive physical health activity.
- Help with positive sleep behaviors, patterns, and amount.
- Be clear about your stand/belief that violence is not acceptable.
- Teach positive coping skills.
- Be aware of your own reactive behavior to conflict (sleep, eating, verbal, non-verbal and emotions).
- Be patient with others and yourself.
- It is ok to admit that you do not know or have all the answers.
- Ask the child their ideas on how to help.
- When appropriate, physical comfort can help provide inner security. This may include a hug, “high five,” a soft stuffed animal, or comfort blanket/object.
- Offer non-verbal alternatives to express emotions, fears, and/or concerns. This could include coloring, books, clay, or other manipulatives.
- Focus on the future and safety.