Posted by Kevin Dudley on 2/7/2024
Kitty Hennessey has approximately 30 years of experience as a school counselor. She’s been in elementary schools, middle schools and high schools. Currently, she is the counselor for all seventh grade students and half of the sixth grade class at Flett Middle School.
As part of National School Counseling Week, we sat down with Kitty to learn about her role as a school counselor for middle school students.
What are the needs of middle school students?
This age is the biggest point of growth they will have physically, emotionally, with their brain, since they were born. If you think about the amount of change they’re dealing with, it’s huge. We have kids dealing with things developmentally and we try and figure out how to regulate, how to be a student, and all of this is on top of the needs in their environment, which can be hard.
Middle school kids, because of their development, don’t always read things correctly. So, sometimes they interpret conflict or stress differently from what it might be in reality. They think people are mad at them a lot, when it’s really just, ‘Oh, I just told you sit down until ten after.’ We do a lot of helping them regulate those emotions.
It’s also a hard time for parents. Kids are high energy at home and here. They need a lot of love and care. They need strong boundaries, high love and high expectations.
From a counselor’s point of view, what’s the focus on this age level?
First and foremost, it’s teaching them how to regulate. If they’re not regulated, they can’t do what they need to do, so we help them build the tools to regulate. Elementary schools do a nice job of starting that process and it’s really important for us to use the same lessons and put it into practice here so we can pass them on to high school.
Discipline and those things are important and we’re part of that, but we’re here to help them prepare and learn the skills to get along.
What growth do you see from grade 6 to 8?
First of all, they’re not going to look the same. We can laugh at that, but it’s a big deal. It’s also emotional growth. They’ll make huge growth one year and I say, ‘I want you to remember this feeling.’ Then when they get to eighth grade, we can say, ‘Do you remember?’ and they say, ‘Yes!’ and they laugh at the feeling of growth.
We teach that hopefulness, that things get better. Sometimes kids get stuck in it and don’t know how to get out and can’t see that life will get better.
Social media is also really hard on our middle schoolers. They want it, but they can’t always make sense of it. It’s 24/7 and it’s a lot to ask of middle school kids.
What’s something the public might not know about middle school counselors?
Sometimes it’s like triage. I can set my day, but I never know what it’ll be like, which is part of what I like. I get to think about things deeply every day. Middle schoolers are hilarious. I cry, and there are things that should move you to tears because students are dealing with a lot. And then there are things that make me think deeply. I often think, ‘How can I be an agent for positive things?’ or something will present itself and I need to think creatively and be part of a plan. I would also say it’s one of the most hopeful age groups because you see change, and right before your eyes sometimes.
